Well ok, you may not die of sharing a bed of course (I know, your partner’ snoring might make it seem the atom bomb has just been dropped on your head), but it is an art to get that needed harmony and compatibility by bedtime before you end up killing each other.
Your energy for all day might drain as well as your mood could be negatively affected by not getting enough rest, so it is important to cope with your partner’s sleeping habits as well as making your own efforts to not make it any more difficult for both of you.
Now before you consider to take the separate bedrooms approach, which will definitely affect your relationship, you should first read this best tips to share a bed and survive the effort:
1. Reduce Snoring
Snoring comes from the sound or vibration of your airways when they get tighter for several reasons, some people are born that way of course but others are affected by nasal congestion and even just the very act of sleeping on your back could be a trigger. Another very common and, completely under your control reason for snoring is your body weight, since the fatty or sloppy tissue makes you prone to this issue, alcohol and smoking also create this problem by relaxing your throat muscles, so rethink your daily habits. Consider that failing to do anything to reduce your snoring will take a toll on your relationship as resentment since sleep deprivation is a serious and common problem on couples around the world, if you are the one affected by your partner’ snoring also bear in mind that it is not intentional.
In summary, what can you do to help it?
- Lose weight.
- Quit smoking and drinking.
- Keep a healthy sleeping routine, read an article here.
- Change your sleeping position.
- Consult your physician, when all else fails.
2. Stop Fighting for the Sheets
Or blankets, yes it is an uncomfortable feeling to wake up in the middle of the night shivering when you clearly remember having gone to sleep with the bed sheets over, only to wake up freezing without them. Having your partner or yourself be the sheet hog of night-time is not fun, but you don’t need to resent one another for stealing them or for not understanding it is an unconscious reflex. You can simply add a couple extra sheets or blankets or whatever the item of discord might be, I’ve done that and it works wonderfully.
3. Respect Each Other Resting Routine
And that includes turning your TV off, stop eating potato chips or jumping on the bed trying to fit into your skinny jeans when your partner is trying to sleep, when you are at the bedroom and your significant other is trying to rest you should respect that time and space. You for example, can walk silently around the bed if your partner is already trying to snooze, or if you need to wake up early, then you could go to bed early too and your partner should let you go without him/her. Remember that not all bodies require the same amount of rest and there is nothing wrong with having different body cycles, so start being more comprehensive.
4. Avoid Overcrowding your Bed
There is no need for your dog, cat, and 12-year-old child to sleep in the same bedroom than you, let alone the same bed, everything and everybody should get their own space to cope with sleep. You’ll definitely have a lousy night if your pet is fighting for the pillow real state, you end up with your neck twisted or your back in an incredibly uncomfortable position, even unconsciously you’ll try to avoid to roll over it and will instead tend to approach more and more to the edge. Your kids are no exception, I know they tend to use the “but I’m afraid dad/mom, can I sleep with you?” excuse, but there is a point where they (and you) definitely need to learn there is nothing to be afraid of in the other bedroom for the better.
5. Make Bedroom Comfort a Priority
Like room temperature , I personally have a really hard time sleeping in hot weather and would prefer to turn the air conditioner or fan on to fall asleep. However not all couples agree on this temperature so you’ll have to work it out and find a middle ground, one could for example sleep in lighter clothing or with no cloth at all and the other wear thicker pajamas or another personal sheet, find a balance. Mattress is also an important issue, since some people like firmer ones and others softer, luckily for you and me, manufacturers are now offering options where half of it is one way and the other half is a different type. Same thing applies to lighting, if you and your partner are on opposing ends of this preference (as some people are conditioned to sleep with a light on while others don’t), then you can agree on a lesser brightness light for you both to feel more comfortable, chances are, you’ll both get used to it.
6. Take Each Other Affection in Consideration
And I’m talking about considering and understanding the needs of your partner by bedtime, for example some people really like to cuddle, touch or hug his/her significant other before falling asleep. Some people don’t like to be touched or feel another person close to them since they feel their space invaded or their body heat increased and uncomfortable. And both ways are perfectly normal, if you are both in different scales on this issue, you can also find a midway arrangement where one of you concede some physical approach before going to sleep and then agree to turn around to let the other with their needed personal space. Just remember there is nothing wrong with any of both ways of feeling, and it doesn’t mean your partner is rejecting you in any way, it’s only a different perspective.
There are lots of aspects besides those numbered above but I could say this is all reduced to comprehension, patience and respect for the lifestyle and in this case sleep style of your partner. Most solutions will rely simply in finding a middle ground between your and your significant other preferences (or those you share your bed with), and for every one of the issues you’ll both need to cede some ground. Consider you will need time to cope with your differences but most of the time you’ll end up getting used to it, so give it a sound effort and time before you fall into the split beds or bedrooms approach and end up hurting the relationship.